Working Towards a Better Me

I mentioned a little while ago my goals for this new year and that I would hold myself accountable by posting about my progress. I know it's not of interest to most of you if not all of you, but I do this to better myself.

Well, I haven't done nearly as good as I would have hoped. I've realized that I can be lazy about some things and I find it to be a discouraging trait I'm trying to break. I keep telling myself to bite the bullet and "JUST DO IT", but it's proving itself to be more difficult than I'd thought. Or is it? I've decided that it's not "difficult", but a matter of breaking the bad habits and creating positive new ones. I look at my sister inlaw, Juli, and see a woman who has it ALL together. She may read this and disagree, but with being a wife and mother of 2, she has succeeded in balancing her life which means having a happy and fulfilling one, right?. If you don't believe me, check out her blog. It speaks for itself. (sorry Juli, didn't mean to put you on the spot.)

So, ultimately this is my goal. To achieve a fulfilling balance in my life and the life of my family that is examplified in the life's of my mother (and mother inlaw), Juli, my aunt Millie, just to name a few.

Not to bore anyone, but to help me stay on track I need to remember what that big long list of goals were. 9 out of 28 goals I'm slowly excelling in. That's pretty good right?

*have a healthy baby boy- so far so good!

*have more patience- sometimes a struggle but not to shabby

*be more organized

*read my scriptures

*pray (personally and as a family)

*start some hobbies

*read sunday lessons before church so I can be more edified

*call family more often

*watch what I say- occasional slip ups but so far so good

*spend more time with my kids- not to bad

*spend less time on computer and tv

*eat better (for myself and family)

*have FHE

*take personal time outs

*plan family outings

*make some girlfriends- work in progress, thanks Sunny, Briane, Sara, Camillee

*pay off credit cards

*start a savings

* stop being lazy

*be more aware of the spirit

*count my blessings

*communicate better

*be more understanding- i think i am most of the time. maybe we should ask Vance

*be more compassionate- i believe i am

*be more loving- again, i sure hope i am

*be more positive- doing much better most of the time

*get back to school

*learn new and yummy recipes

To help accomplish my "count my blessings" goal, I've decided to blog one blessing or one thing I'm greatful for at the end of every post. I'll call it, Counted Blessings.

Counted Blessings:

#1- Gemma Lorel Smith! She brings a light and a joy to our lives that I can't do without and I thank my Heavenly Father for trusting me with such a perfect little spirit.

Date Nite

Vance and I were able to enjoy a very nice and relaxing evening yesterday. I forgot how that feels and now I'm craving more! I finally got brave, made the big call, and asked for a sitter. I was nervous to ask someone to watch my little girl because I didn't want to inconveinience them but I've come to realize that it's a piece of cake. We enjoyed Texas Roadhouse without any interuptions and were able to take our sweet little time! Normally, Gemma gets super fussy and ends up in our laps so you can imagine our relief. After which, we went to the movies and watched an abselutely rediculous film! PLEASE REFRAIN FROM WATCHING "LEGION"! I do believe that I'm a bit embarrased to admit that yes, we watched it. Walking out of the movie in disbelief, we trucked on home where we found our sweet babe tucked soundly in bed. So too, was Vance and I once the sitter left and enjoyed a peaceful slumber. (To bad sleeping in is out of the question these days.)

And the Verdict is......

A BOY! It's a boy!! I had my ultra sound this morning at 10 and after going through a fire drill, we finally know that we're having a sweet little boy. I was quit surprised as to how obvious it was. I couldn't help but smile a little bit and Vance, well, let's just say he's a proud papa.

The end of 4 months

The end of 5 months

A little research

I haven't done nearly enough research like I should but here is what I know thanks to a wonderful friend Missy. (who, pain stakingly has researched ALL she can to have a better birth the next go-round. And congrats to her since she is expecting again!!)

Here are a list of reasons as to why I believe could have caused a c/s with Gemma:

-They gave me Pit. to even out my contractions and help make me dialate and progress. (for hours I wasn't dialating past a 2)
-I asked for an epidural probably a little to soon. I think I could have handled it a little while longer.

Here are the FACTS of that delivery the eventually lead to a c/s:

-I started running a fever
-Gemma was face down and they needed her to turn back around
-Gemma started showing signs of stress

I can't help but think that just maybe the pit. and early epidural could have played a factor in the outcome of this delivery.

The more I read the more I want a vbac. I just need to find out if there is an easier way to get to that point instead of all the driving I might have to do. Also, I've realized that I should be more concerned with what I want and not stressing about how to make it easier for everyone else. Now, I need to come up with a plan. A plan where I know Vance will be there. This is the hard part that I find myself getting overwhelmed with. So, I guess I should do some praying and consulting.

By the way, this Thursday the 21st, I find out what I'm having! I can't wait!!

vbac??

I've been doing a lot of thinking as to how I want this pregnancy to go. Quit honestly, I'm not really sure. My doctor says I have the option to do a vaginal birth if I choose but it would be a bit of a hassel. Hence my dilema. If I choose to do a vbac, I would go the full 9 months until I went into labor where I would then drive to the Sierra Vista Hospital and THEN they would transport me to tucson. It just seems like to much and one big inconvenience for me and any family who choose to come and spend some time with Vance and I.

Vance says to just do the c-section because it would be scheduled which obviously would make things easy. However, the recovery is another story.

So, here is a list of PRO's and CON's that I can think of off the top of my head.

VBAC:
pro's:
-the experiance of that type of delivery
-a speedy recovery
-being able to hold my babe that minute
-it's something that I would really want
-80% of having a successful delivery

con's:
-the 2 hour drive to tucson
-the 20% chance of it being another c-section
-where would family stay?
-again, the drive (Ugh, the drive!)

C-SECTION:
pro's:
- it's scheduled a week in advance
-only a 25 minute drive to hospital
-easier for family visitors
-it's quick and easy
-Vance likes it this way
-again, I really like that it would be scheduled and I don't have to wait tell labor


con's:
-it's a manditory stay in the hospital for 2 days
-recovery is long and MISERABLE
-I don't get to hold my babe right away
-It's not the experience I have always dremped it would be

Questions I have:

Do things go back to normal "down there"? (I worry about that. So does Vance)
Will I be peeing my pants after birth because of all the stretching?
What is recovery like after a vaginal birth?
I here horror stories of taring. Would someone be willing to explain?
What would you do if you were in my shoes?
I would want an epidural. Could that cause problems for a successful vbac?

So, just to recap. If I choose to do a vbac, that means only an 80% chance of success, 25 minute drive to the first hospital then another hour and half drive to tucson hospital. (A place I wouldn't be familiar with.) No place for family to stay in tucson. It would be a bit stressful.

If I stick with c-section, I know what to expect, it's scheduled, would be a short drive, there's a place for family to stay. Not to mention, I wouldn't have to worry about Vance not making it because of work. Unfortunalty, recovery is hard. In all honesty, it would be the easier way.

I would love the feed back!! CALLING all vbac women and women who have been blessed with a vaginal delivery! PLEASE guide me, counsel me, advise me, ETC. I understand leaving your response in "comments" may not be ideal so here is my email for those who are willing to share with me there experience.
vh_smith@msn.com

P.S. Don't be shy

Thanks!!!

"Splash Time"

I had a morning out with my little girl WHILE accomplishing my GOALS!! I hope I can keep motivated. Any who, I took Gemma to "Splash Time" at The Cove in Sierra Vista and had a BLAST! (or should I say "SPLASH".) It was hard trying to take pictures because she wouldn't hold still plus I was trying to keep the camera dry. But, we enjoyed ourselves and can't wait to go back.

After all the FUN, we headed to the lockers to enjoy a tasty snack!

Gemma was being soooo SILLY. She truly cracks me UP!

Blog Help Again!

Im not sure why, but my editing options when I post are missing. for example, the options to change font or color or font size, ETC. are no longer there. How do I get them back?

12 Month Stats

As always, Gemma kicks and crys every time we go to the doctors. She abselutely HATES it! I don't know how to make it more enjoyable for her but maybe that's just not possible. Any who, onto the stats:

Head: 46cm
Chest: 46cm
Height: 29.5in
Weight: 19.14

There you have it. Gemma is my little munchkin! And a cute one at that!!

Resolutions.....

The New Year brings a new start to your life if you choose and sometimes it's not the new year that brings this internal change. It can happen at anytime in someone's life. Once the New Year came I made personal resolutions to keep in my head and GUESS what?! I have done NONE of them! So, it seems that if I post about them I'm held a little more accountable for them in a way. I'll see if this works and try to keep a "blog documentation" (so to speak) of my growth as a woman, mother, wife, daughter, and human being.

Heather's 2010 goals:

-have a healthy baby

-have more patience

-be more organized

-read scriptures

-pray (personally and as a family)

-start some hobbies

-read sunday lessons before church so I can be more edified

-call family more often

-watch what I say

-spend more time with my kids

-spend less time on computer and TV

-eat better (for myself and whole family)

-have FHE

-take personal time out's so I don't go CRAZY

-plan family outings/activities

-make some girlfriends

-pay off credit cards

-start a savings

-stop being lazy

-be more aware of the spirit

-count my blessings

-communicate better

-be more understanding

-be more compassionate

-be more loveing

-be more positive

-apply for grants and be enrolled and ready for the 2011 college school year

-learn to cook new and yummy recipes

I think I might have bit off a little more than I can chew but there is a saying I learned in RS a few years ago and they gave us a wood block with this moto, "JUST DO IT". I will try my darndest to live by this moto and not find any excuses. Wish me luck!

Blogging......what to do, what to do

I look at everyone's blog and think, "How cute is that!". I've been surfing some websites for freebees and still can't figure out how to do some things like, put a picture in a frame that's on a cute header, etc. I'm trying to personalize my page and STILL can't quit get the hang of it (embarassing). I need some pointers on how to become more blog SAVVY. So, all you creative people, point me in the right direction, PLEASE. I'd like to stand out just like the rest of you.

The BIG "1"

Happy BIG birthday to my sweet little ANGEL! (1-6-10) Her wing feathers must have been ruffled because she was anything but. None the less I baked her a cake, picked up some ice cream and we headed off to the park to celebrate the birth of this darling girl!

Thanks to her grandma Smith, she loves her Baby Einstein DVD's and THANK YOU for my Outback gift card! I can't wait to use it!!

Dirt Bike UNCENSORED

During the New Year weekend my family came down from Utah to visit. During there stay, which I very much enjoyed, my brother and Vance did quit a bit of dirt biking. What you'll see in this video is Vance doing some amazing gymnastics!

(This video is rated pg13 due to the colorful words)



Can you believe that Vance was OKAY! His elbows and forearms were scraped up and he bruised his hand pretty good but he was able to go to work that night and ride again the next morning.

The BIG 2-4

I can't believe I'm 24 years old!! I remember being a kid and wanting so badly to be 20 and now those years have flown on by. I need time to slow down a bit. I was born January 3rd, 1986 in a very small town called Kanab, Ut. She could have done a couple of things, but a teen mother of 18 years chose to love and raise me just the same. I know it wasn't easy, but I'm so greatful that she worked endless jobs and gave of herself to make me the woman I am today. So, a happy BIG birthday to me and an even BIGGER thank you, hug, and a kiss to my mother!

So, what did I do on my birthday you ask? I went to church at 10 then came home where Vance asked if I'd like to go see Avatar that night since I've been wanting soooo badly to see it. Thanks to a great friend of ours who offered to babysit, we embarked to the theater where we watched the 3D version and LOVED every minute of it! I abselutely LOVE going out with my hunny I just wish it could happen more often. Thanks babe for a wonderful date and making me feel like the special princess on her birthday!!

There was no cake and ice cream. I decided to save that part and celebrate both mine and Gemma's birthday together! I can't believe this cute adorable girl will be 1 on wednesday!