pathetic

When I was little my mom put me in dance. I wanted to do it. My friends were doing it. I had fun doing it. I stopped doing it.

Why?

Because I was afraid that when I got dropped off for dance, I would never see my family again. That something terrible was going to happen to them or me.

I was little. Why would I have thoughts like that that stopped me from doing something I loved?

Years went by and I entered Jr. High. Fun field trips came along like California, Washington, NYC, etc. I wanted to go. I knew I would have fun. Out of the handful of school trips I could have gone on through out my highschool career, I only went on 2.

You know why?

You guessed it! My mind went wild with all the scenarios that could tragically happen and I didn't go. Even the 2 I went on my parents, friends and myself really tried hard to convince my brain that it would be fun and nothing bad would happen.

I leave Saturday to NY. A vacation all to myself. How exciting right?! And I am. But, that's right folks, im about an internet page and button away from cancelling my trip. All because of this fear i get when im about to leave my family.

I wish I could figure out why I do this. Why my mind goes wild with all the horrific tragedies that "could happen" (but odds are they wont). What if my plain crashes? My kids get in an accident? Vance gets hurt at work? etc. etc. and beyond.... It's been bad this time around.

Yep. Pretty pathetic if you ask me. I know I cant possibly be the only one that does this.

Lets hope I make a great friend on my flights to help focus my mind on things that aren't so rediculous.

oh this boy

This guy makes my days loooong and wild! I blame it on his daddy. ;)

I dont know how I missed it because I was in the bathroom with him getting ready for church, but I glanced over to see what he was doing and well, the rest is history.

another day at the zoo

My dear o'l Dad called me this afternoon and told me to "update your blog!"

My Dad has been away from home for over a month now and wont be returning until Christmas. He's up in North Dakota working his hardest for the love of his life (eternity) and is missing her and everyone else.

So Dad, here is what your grandbabies have been up to as of late.

Love you Pappy!

i heart them

I live for them, I would die for them and I'm so grateful for them.