New York & Utah

I did it! I went to NY! With the help of my mother who took my kiddos for the week so I could go and my cousin Danny letting me hang out with him, I had a FABULOUS time!

My first day there we took the train from Albany to NYC bright and early! No joke I was running on 2 hours of sleep the entire time in NYC.  I survived though! Except for the time I almost died on the subway. It was our stop and the doors only opened for a few seconds, drove on and then stopped and opened again so I booked it to the doors and they started closing. Thinking they worked like elevator doors I squeezed through them as they closed on me. Literally. Well, I became stranded on the streets of NYC while Danny was on the subway. What's a vacation without a little adventure, right?!

Needless to say we found each other.

The rest of the week was spent relaxing, walking around down town Saratoga, rock climbing, and hanging out with some friends.

Museum of Natural History. Very cool place and A MUST if any of you ever go to NYC.

 Ground zero/ memorial center/new building

Danny Boy and I

The closest we ever got to the Statue

Rock climbing was AWESOME!

 After NY, I went up to Utah to hang out with my family and kidlets.

 Bubbs first hair cut thanks to cousin Amanda!

Watering the horses

Riding Gemma's mini horse

Splashing in the troph

Must eats in NYC: John's pizza- you'll never have better tasting pizza than this place!

and the Shake Shack- AMAZING burgers, frys and shakes!

pathetic

When I was little my mom put me in dance. I wanted to do it. My friends were doing it. I had fun doing it. I stopped doing it.

Why?

Because I was afraid that when I got dropped off for dance, I would never see my family again. That something terrible was going to happen to them or me.

I was little. Why would I have thoughts like that that stopped me from doing something I loved?

Years went by and I entered Jr. High. Fun field trips came along like California, Washington, NYC, etc. I wanted to go. I knew I would have fun. Out of the handful of school trips I could have gone on through out my highschool career, I only went on 2.

You know why?

You guessed it! My mind went wild with all the scenarios that could tragically happen and I didn't go. Even the 2 I went on my parents, friends and myself really tried hard to convince my brain that it would be fun and nothing bad would happen.

I leave Saturday to NY. A vacation all to myself. How exciting right?! And I am. But, that's right folks, im about an internet page and button away from cancelling my trip. All because of this fear i get when im about to leave my family.

I wish I could figure out why I do this. Why my mind goes wild with all the horrific tragedies that "could happen" (but odds are they wont). What if my plain crashes? My kids get in an accident? Vance gets hurt at work? etc. etc. and beyond.... It's been bad this time around.

Yep. Pretty pathetic if you ask me. I know I cant possibly be the only one that does this.

Lets hope I make a great friend on my flights to help focus my mind on things that aren't so rediculous.

oh this boy

This guy makes my days loooong and wild! I blame it on his daddy. ;)

I dont know how I missed it because I was in the bathroom with him getting ready for church, but I glanced over to see what he was doing and well, the rest is history.

another day at the zoo

My dear o'l Dad called me this afternoon and told me to "update your blog!"

My Dad has been away from home for over a month now and wont be returning until Christmas. He's up in North Dakota working his hardest for the love of his life (eternity) and is missing her and everyone else.

So Dad, here is what your grandbabies have been up to as of late.

Love you Pappy!

i heart them

I live for them, I would die for them and I'm so grateful for them.

15 months!

Can't believe V is 15 months already!

Wt: 26lbs 2oz (70%)

Ht: 32.5" (90%)

Hc: 18.6" (50%)

Words he speaks are bath, brush, bye, dada, no, hi, hot and yeah.

When Gemma get's sent to timeout, he loves to walk over and give her a scolding. Seriously the funniest thing when he does.

He's got HIGH ENERGY! I don't know how I keep up. Loves to wrestle and eat!

He helps mommy clean up his toys and he is a total monkey climbing on anything and everything!

Oh, and he loves to give a good tickle with sound affects and all.

Seriously LOVE this boy!

is it a mom thing or what?

A few months ago my cousin propositioned me with an all expense paid trip minus half a plane ticket to NY! Of course I said you've got a deal. Who would pass something up like that?! I've always wanted to go and Vance has no desire what so ever to make it there , so why not?!

I purchased that darn ticket last night and I feel like im going to throw up. I have never left on my own personal mini vacay before. I feel guilty and selfish because we are trying to buy a house and other things; worried for my kids, husband and everything about the flight; undeserving because it makes me feel like a bad mom. The list goes on and on. I have asked Vance so many times if he's okay with me going. Of course he is. Pluse he too gets a week without kids in towe. Thanks Momma, btw.

A small part of me is really excited though! No responsibilities or obligations to anyone but myself for a whole week! I have forgotten what that feels like.

I did spend the $16 on insurance just in case my feelings get the best of me. I hope not but i usually lose when im shopping so who knows.